The Irrational Objects Game
Iniciated by Arthur Spota
The Object: A Baby Rattle Lost In A Cave
1) How did it come to appear in the Cave?
through the powers of the undead manifesting in the living world (Derek Scefonas)
A giant, diapered baby put it there.
I dropped it there. (Virginia Valentine Coles)
Because the baby who played in the cave was eaten by the lion. (Zazie)
By the reflecting of light on the Rattle, probably by moonlight.
(Willem den Broeder)
Maybe a blind man who wanted to use it instead of a pocket lamp in search for his soul. (Valentina Marandoiu)
it was left there. (Lady Cadaver)
That is for the cold cave-winds to know - if there's anyone who (still) speaks their language (and I suspect Norway here),they should speak up. (Xtian)
The baby rattle fell from a fitful eye in a mirror--because chapstick was not applied. (John Lawson)
The baby rattle pre-existed caves and babies. When lava erupted through the primordial ocean and hardened against the atmosphere, it created an island underneath the rattle. The cave formed when a volcanic mountain disintegrated and buried the rattle in rubble while leaving a respectful distance all around it. (Parry Harndon)
A great flood carried it there when the owners were forced to board slave ships. (Andrew Torch)
A bear brought it. (Craig Blair)
It was abandoned there by a genii who began dreaming a civilization but woke up before it had matured beyond the age of two. (Arthur Spota)
It was mislaid during a personal nocturnal ritual.
The appearance of little rattles have their roots in celtic origins. The exact time of their appearance is unknown, but several muddy girls brought them to their caves to play. (Richard Dotson)
I left it myself in a dream. (Ribitch)
fashioned by deposits. (Jason Palmer)
2) What is its latent relationship to the Cave?
It is its mother (Derek Scefonas)
An echo. (Pablo Weisz-Carrington)
Sucking. (Virginia Valentine Coles)
The whole entity is just a metamorphosis of the dissection table. (Zazie)
The Rattle and the Cave are both on the same moment in time, together! (Willem den Broeder)
A beginning of the world. (Valentina Marandoiu)
keeping the snakes company (Lady Cadaver)
It is actually a foreigner - the story behind it is sad and tragic, involving wooden ships. It belongs now, but that came via conflict. (Xtian)
The rattle is used by the cave to lure babies in for the purpose of consumption. The cave dotes on the rattle, which in turn appreciates the attention. (John Lawson)
It demonstrates that every growing embryo is a potentially dangerous snake. (Parry Harndon)
The melancholiness of the darkness. (Andrew Torch)
It is in love with it. (Craig Blair)
It is a heavenly vault in an alchemical cauldron. (Arthur Spota)
It embodies the cave's desire for sound. (Gypsy Sherred)
It is a dream of balancing alternatives to time. Makers of rattles know their secrets and reveal them to winged descendants. (Richard Dotson)
It was cold outside the cave, to which I needed to return for warmth. (Ribitch)
exists as an object of deformity a silent resemblance due to inherent contnent. (Jason Palmer)
3) Who has suffered most from its loss?
the virtuous (Derek Scefonas)
Nobody, it has not been missed, the baby was annoyed but the constant noise. (Pablo Weisz-Carrington)
Adolf Hitler. (Virginia Valentine Coles)
The baby (Zazie)
The mother of the baby, he cried for 5 years! (Willem den Broeder)
The Cave if that would have was alive or the blind man would have was more happy if he would have could give back the time with auxiliary it. (Valentina Marandoiu)
it was never lost. it is waiting to be found. (Lady Cadaver)
A blonde woman - very long, thin, and drawn with a pencil. (Xtian)
The men of the United States Airforce (women remain unaffected).
No one. Only the rattle itself realizes it is lost. (Parry Harndon)
All those that lost their childhood to a war. (Andrew Torch)
The baby. (Craig Blair)
Christianity. (Arthur Spota)
A man in a black hood, who can no longer use it to summon and repel. (Gypsy Sherred)
Suffering loss is only the way for the forest. (Richard Dotson)
My dead brother, who's been hanging in the closet ever since.
the person who found it (perhaps a young child wishing it to be real). (Jason Palmer)
4) Of all the species that have encountered it accidentally in the Cave, who was most affected by it, and how so?
the fallen priests, they see innocence reflected back at them and they weep (Derek Scefonas)
A cucaracha, that was wondering around, was finally frustrated by the mere size of the thing. (Pablo Weisz-Carrington)
Cave woman who has not yet learned to suck but does catapult herself into 21st Century paid-advertisment fame by inventing the Mastodon Stew Stirrer. (Virginia Valentine Coles)
The ants because it was not eatable. (Zazie)
Species with ears more than species without eyes! (Willem den Broeder)
All those species which do not live without light and liberty in motion. (Valentina Marandoiu)
the octopus was confused as it tasted nothing like chicken! he's always believed what does not taste like fish, must taste like chicken! talk about a shock !!! (Lady Cadaver)
I suspect certain types of beetles live in it (I don't
know their name / species). They have set up a
propserous oasis for trading lines (for insects). (Xtian)
Naturist blind ants, albino due to countless generations in the dark. They worship this rattle as their Blood God, as it is perpetually drenched in blood. (John Lawson)
A herd of translucent termites which mistook it for their queen wasted their lives protecting it from the cave's revenue collectors.
The monkeys. They could never figure out what made it rattle...it eventually resulted in deep psychological problems. (Andrew Torch)
The ant, because it was in its path (Craig Blair)
The scarobs, who mistaking the rattle for a ball of dung, rolled it underground, crawled inside, and trying to feed off the residue child energy and failing, could not lay their eggs. (Arthur Spota)
The bats, whose sonar senses perceive it as a fallen cousin.
By three million notes of organ music remembered by derelict winos that now piss in the caves. (Richard Dotson)
Three crows who were hunting for grubs, they began to argue over obsession of the object. (Ribitch)
many have passed by, failing to realize it's potential to spark ideas, they were all affected the same, a moment lost. (Jason Palmer)
5) If you were to encounter it by chance in a disorienting setting, what subconscious memory would it trigger in you?
the houseboat where trees fly (Derek Scefonas)
All that rattle.... (Pablo Weisz-Carrington)
My father splitting his skull with a double-bladed axe.
(Virginia Valentine Coles)
When i was driving on the highway at night and i was blinded by the cars coming towards me. (Zazie)
The anguish of being lost in time, or being locked up in time!
(Willem den Broeder)
I think that would wake up in me an anxiety of primitive memory generated by sentiment of a type of abandonment, incertitude, fear.
my grandfather who i have never met. (Lady Cadaver)
I just don't know. (Xtian)
A time when I was five years of age, wandering sidewalks alone, lost, happy, feeling as though the sharks roaming the streets had devoured my family. All the ankles and skirts and pants whizzing by were an ecstasy which no child should experience. (John Lawson)
A strange-coloured affection for the girl screaming on the Zipper carnival ride. (Parry Harndon)
Being left out in the rain. (Andrew Torch)
Babar the elephant (really!) (Craig Blair)
Waking up and looking out the window over my crib and seeing the head of a taunt, primitive animal looking in at me with a hideous grin transfixed on its face. At the time and until this day I cannot fathom if I was dreaming or it really happened. Years later I encountered that animal again in a painting by Wilfredo Lam. (Arthur Spota)
Myself, at two years old, being watched by an elderly lady who lives in the flat downstairs as I pursue a white cat up a fire escape.
Gravel in wheelbarrows and a ham sandwich. (Richard Dotson)
My Grandmothers teeth bared in a horrible grin as she hooked electrodes to my testicles. (Ribitch)
70's sitcom music (Jason Palmer)
6) What is its most common, least obvious use?
most common:tranquility under stars
least:doing the dreadlords bidding (Derek Scefonas)
It has been known to be useful in getting rid of ants in the kitchen. (Pablo Weisz-Carrington)
Insole massager. (Virginia Valentine Coles)
To protect yourself against snakes. (Zazie)
Its most common is that the cave and the rattle see each other regularly at the same time! (Willem den Broeder)
when mother cannot placate with milk, a noisemaker shall give her peace and quiet. (Lady Cadaver)
Most common: its a city (for aforementioned insects.
No pun intended: its a thriving community. Lights are
on all the time. Least obvious: archeological find, proving alien contact from light grey parts of Milky Way. (Xtian)
The rattle is best used to flip "flapjacks" (pancakes). (John Lawson)
It is shaken over the High Priest's head during the ritual human sacrifice at Bohemian Grove. (Parry Harndon)
Punishment device. (Andrew Torch)
Oral gratification (Craig Blair)
Used by babies to hit other annoying babies over the head. (Arthur Spota)
Its most common use is to invoke sensations of thirst. Its least obvious use is that it can also quench those sensations. (Gypsy Sherred)
call forwarding (Richard Dotson)
To call forth the shadows of the wind on the third morning of dust. (Ribitch)
conversation (Jason Palmer)
7) What is its most subversive use?
mocking the druids (Derek Scefonas)
Creating disconcerting dreams in your neighbor if you can gain access unobstructed to the side of his or her bed in the middle of the night.
Houses a smart bomb triggered by sucking.
(Virginia Valentine Coles)
To use it as a microphone. (Zazie)
Makes noise, each rest assassinated! (Willem den Broeder)
training. (Lady Cadaver)
The power to attract charlatans. (Xtian)
The rattle has been used to bore into the thighs of the indevout which in turn allowed all the little mechanoids to escape their fleshy imprisonment. (John Lawson)
Cuban communists shake it to transmit Morse Code propaganda that hypnotizes Americans into wanting socialized medicine. (Parry Harndon)
Torture device for the blind or against the blind....
As a weapon (Craig Blair)
A dream catcher to accelerate a child's psychic abilities. (Arthur Spota)
The provision of a scratching, echoing, rattling sound at the periphery of hearing, inducing subtly hysterical effects which disrupt the normally complacent psychological states of the daylight hours. (Gypsy Sherred)
scraping rock surfaces (Richard Dotson)
Used as a shaman's drum to evoke my ancestors. (Ribitch)
more conversation. (Jason Palmer)
8) If it was in your hand right now, how would you incorporate it productively into your daily life?
I wear it around my neck with a pouch filled with proactive herbs
I would mambo down the street dressed as a giraffe.
Toss it into the Phi Sigma Kappa house. (Virginia Valentine Coles)
It would give the rythm i want to my daily live. (Zazie)
I would rattle to everyone around me to be quiet, and to kneel to me if I be the king himself! (Willem den Broeder)
first - I'd transform it in a positive real thing and then - just like A.Schwarzeneger I'd shoot with it all wrinkles of humanity.
i would take it to the politicians of the world and shake it in each ones face until i found one who smiled and said 'thank you' (Lady Cadaver)
I'd use it to make music, or maybe - I just remembered
the insects. I was going to say use it to flatten
dough, but the insects would be in the way. I'd
probably pickle it (I pickle objects - pegs, brains,
keys, whatever. I'm planning to have a museum of
pickled everyday objects one day.) (Xtian)
Absolutely not, in fact I would bash you in the head with it for suggesting such a thing! (John Lawson)
I would use it to tenderize meat. (Parry Harndon)
Use its rhythm to meditate. (Andrew Torch)
Use it to relive stress (Craig Blair)
I'd use it to hypnotize and regress the ghost in my hallway, so I could find out what it wants of me. (Arthur Spota)
I would bang it repeatedly on the edge of my desk, until it broke or my hand started bleeding. Then I could return to work satisfied.
I could never do that. I have no daily life. (Richard Dotson)
I would use it as a ladder in my sleep. (Ribitch)
acting as if it were a chicken drum-stick just to get an absurd cackle here and there. (Jason Palmer)
9) Is it capable of metamorphoses?
no (Derek Scefonas)
It would become a multicolored balloon for hamsters to travel in.
Only under the full moon. (Virginia Valentine Coles)
Sure it is. Very often, when it wants to get some attention it starts to liquefy itself into a pool of blood. (Zazie)
Natural change in air pressure displacement and public safety!
(Willem den Broeder)
no. it is sad about this though. (Lady Cadaver)
No, not at all. It will break down due to wear and
tear (and because of the natural growth of the "Insect
Oasis"), at which point the insects will have to leave
the cave - forever. (Xtian)
No, only when it is assisted by the horrid shadows left behind by Danny DeVito (he does not recycle his shadows). (John Lawson)
Yes, but only when no one is looking. (Parry Harndon)
No (Andrew Torch)
No (Craig Blair)
No, but capable of inter-dimensional functions.
No. (Gypsy Sherred)
Only if it carried to Bell Island and delivered to the Pelican Girl herself. (Richard Dotson)
Yes! Like a shape shifter under my eyelids. (Ribitch)
yes, chicken. (Jason Palmer)
10) Is it capable of transforming others. If so, how?
yes; passing through worlds and worlds (Derek Scefonas)
Ahhh! now we are talking about a whole different kind of rattle
Yes. It can blow them to smithereens.
(Virginia Valentine Coles)
When it has become a pool of blood and you are looking at it you will be transformed into a vampire. (Zazie)
No it only works at idiots as I! (Willem den Broeder)
no. it only distracts (those who are distracted) into being themselves. (Lady Cadaver)
Well, it has dragged insects from insectness into
mythological empire builders. (Xtian)
The process occurs when too much caffeine has been absorbed into the bloodstream of others (IE arctic wolves, lumps of quartz, et cetera). The rattle employs screwdrivers to manipulate the systems which other forms take for granted and makes use of selkie hair. Others never become aware of their transformation. (John Lawson)
It can transform other baby rattles into reptiles.
Yes, telepathically. (Andrew Torch)
It has a calming effect on some, an annoying effect on others
Yes, by converting the echoes of a dharmic plain into inner feelings, it conveys a deep sense of emptiness and loss to anyone who's within 20 feet of it. (Arthur Spota)
Yes, since all who encounter it can use it to produce something out of nothing. (Gypsy Sherred)
Every 17th one has transformational properties. But the last one in the sequence remains as a mama's boy. (Richard Dotson)
Only if others are receptive to transformation. (Ribitch)
yes, through violence.....senseless violence.... also laughing (deep down inside) because it looks like chicken. (Jason Palmer)
11) If you were to see it reflected in a mirror, what would its negative image suggest to you?
a starfall (Derek Scefonas)
A transparent glass tree. (Pablo Weisz-Carrington)
Yuppie larvae. (Virginia Valentine Coles)
That there must be something wrong. (Zazie)
The reflection succeeds not, therefore the mirror picture would be transparent! (Willem den Broeder)
The inquisition. (Valentina Marandoiu)
the octopus was right. it would tast nothing like chicken. nor fish for that matter. (Lady Cadaver)
A lightless cluck-hole, squirming and featherless, ready of the barbecue of iniquity. (John Lawson)
A bird feeder surrounded by wasps. (Parry Harndon)
Loneliness. (Andrew Torch)
Nothing (Craig Blair)
Bone marrow. (Arthur Spota)
A blind cave fish, washed ashore by a subterranean tide. (Gypsy Sherred)
Cat whiskers. (Richard Dotson)
A kiss! (Ribitch)
A small bag of sand existing within it's own gravitatinal pull....upward. (Jason Palmer)
12) With what Historical figure can it be associated?
Dath'toraon (Derek Scefonas)
With Dwight Eisenhower. (Pablo Weisz-Carrington)
The Queen Mum without her hat. (Virginia Valentine Coles)
With Hitler. (Zazie)
Absolute with the figure five, because the figure the five origin is of all rattles, as at confesses everyone! (Willem den Broeder)
The inquisition. (Valentina Marandoiu)
any with more than 2 legs or 4 hands. (Lady Cadaver)
Tricky one - not a human. Someone from outer space
(greay part of Milky Way) who lost it, and the richest
insect merchant who "controls" the oasis. (Xtian)
Chester Alan Arthur, twenty-first president of the United States.
Anne Ninon de Lenclos, who used it as a diaphragm. (Parry Harndon)
George W. Bush (Andrew Torch)
Napoleon (Craig Blair)
Dr. Gaston Ferdiere. (Arthur Spota)
Lee Scratch Perry. (Gypsy Sherred)
Bo Diddley (Richard Dotson)
Comte De Lautremont. (Ribitch)
Antonin Gaudi. (Jason Palmer)
13) What part of a sleeping woman's/man's naked anatomy would you place it on?
solar plexus (Derek Scefonas)
Well, the naked bodies would be sleeping, have their hands gently placed on their chests with the rattle in their hands. (Pablo Weisz-Carrington)
In between the big toe and index toe. (Virginia Valentine Coles)
On the ribs. (Zazie)
Ten inch above the buttock split! (Willem den Broeder)
I'd put it by one ear. (Valentina Marandoiu)
man: standing upright sticking out of the bellybutton. (Lady Cadaver)
I don't think I would. I'd have to find it first, and even then - eurgh, The insects. I hate insects. (Xtian)
The pelt. (John Lawson)
The forehead. (Parry Harndon)
The ear lobe. (Andrew Torch)
The forehead of both (Craig Blair)
The solar plexus. (Arthur Spota)
The sternum. (Gypsy Sherred)
Between the middle and fourth toes (Richard Dotson)
On a woman, the curve of her thigh, on a man the butterfly of his penis. (Ribitch)
her left clavical, wondering if will will roll into the soft valley of her neck or have a stand-off with her breasts. (Jason Palmer)
14) And if he/she were dead?
3rd eye (Derek Scefonas)
The rattle gets buried with them for the purpose of simple music in the after life, an antique gramophone would be added for additional sources of music along a bunch of 78 records. (Pablo Weisz-Carrington)
Up the ass. Might save on funeral costs. (Virginia Valentine Coles)
On the skull. (Zazie)
In the skull (Willem den Broeder)
It beats me. (Valentina Marandoiu)
i wouldn't - they've obviously been overdoing it again and need a different flavour. (Lady Cadaver)
In the mouth - let the insects travel into the belly. (Xtian)
The portions not used for cooking (to keep things kosher). (John Lawson)
Inside the mouth. (Parry Harndon)
On the big toe (like a toe-tag) (Andrew Torch)
Same (Craig Blair)
On The Forehead. (Arthur Spota)
The left hand. (Gypsy Sherred)
In the right ear (Richard Dotson)
It would be removed and shaken above them both from head to foot. (Ribitch)
15) In what material do you see it wrapped?
It is wrapped in spider webs. (Pablo Weisz-Carrington)
Baby mastodon gift wrap (the furry kind). (Virginia Valentine Coles)
In the baby's skin. (Zazie)
In gold foil (Willem den Broeder)
dirt. clay. bichamin (spelling?). tar. mud. (Lady Cadaver)
Glittery, aluminum-style gift paper. (John Lawson)
A death shroud. (Parry Harndon)
A comfortable blanket. (Andrew Torch)
It is naked (Craig Blair)
Foreskin. (Arthur Spota)
A very thin, but infinitely elastic, translucent skin. (Gypsy Sherred)
Grape leaves (Richard Dotson)
The first layer would be a layer of fog, followed by a layer of silk. (Ribitch)
tissue paper, like a sad gift. (Jason Palmer)
16) If it was made available to George W. Bush or Saddam Hussein mysteriously in the middle of the night, what would their initial impulses towards it reveal about them?
they are children (Derek Scefonas)
The rattles from the opposing sides would be detonated in the middle of the desert thus solving all the problems of the world.
Infantile paralysis. (Virginia Valentine Coles)
That they are bloody monsters. (Zazie)
She will have to ask on that moment where their youth in the brain is remained and where thoughtless behaviour to can suffer!
(Willem den Broeder)
If their chilhoods had not died, probably G.W.Bush would have said [ once more ] "I must fight for it ( the chilhood) not die definitive" and S.Hussein would have had the chance of a doubtful moment for what is really him - maybe not. (Valentina Marandoiu)
they would be frightened. confused. until little johhny howard turns up gurgelling like a pigglet and steals it whilst running off and shaking it. only then would they understand and argue over which one of them is at fault until the sun rises and destroys them both. (Lady Cadaver)
Hussein loves waltz - and would dance till dawn. Bush
- he'd have diarrhea and go catatonic forever,
shaking, sweating, eyes bulging, terrorised catatonia. (Xtian)
The impulse to wear pink tights at seeing said rattle would reveal an inclination toward self-loathing, the cultivation of nail fungus, and a severe lack of air conditioning. (John Lawson)
George W. Bush would eye it suspiciously, nudge it with his toe, look around, pick it up, shake it, and continue playing with it till dawn. Saddam Hussein would cover it with gob and use it to slick his hair. (Parry Harndon)
That George really longs for his childhood and mother's breast milk. (Andrew Torch)
They were going insane. They are both too concerned about reality. (Craig Blair)
George W. would feel an inexplicable revulsion to his own loins, followed by a barely conscious memory of once being content nestled between his mother's breasts, the attention and approval he's been searching for ever since. For a laugh Hussein takes it back to bed with him and vividly dreams of himself riding in a gondala in Venice with the most loving woman imaginable, only to wake up in the despair of knowing his life is a tomb. (Arthur Spota)
That they were two sides of the same coin.
They should be too busy making love to notice.
Complete and utter terror, for it would reveal the marvelous to which neither could understand. (Ribitch)
Bush, ....brief startle....brief denial.......no conclusion (it reveals his direspect to time passed))
Hussein, ......fear.....real fear......then realizing he is not scared at all.....no real conclusion (it reveals that he feels that being consistent changes everything with nothing at all)